Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Interview with Robert Malliet - Actor and Wrestler and all round great guy

Robert Malliet is probably the biggest man in cinema at the moment. He may not have starred in hundreds of films yet but the ones he's in he always manages to make an impression.

You may remember him as an Uber Immortal in the stunning 300 or as Dredger in the recent re-imagining of Sherlock Holmes.

For horror/wrestling fans he is about to appear as Frankenstein in the new movie Monsters Brawl and I can't wait for it.

Well, Robert was kind enough to take a few moments out of his busy schedule to talk to me and I thought I'd share with you all.

Hi Robert... Thanks so much for agreeing to chat with us for a while.

-Its good to be invited over.

Now do the roar!!! (Only kidding, this guy is big but he's no ogre)... So, looking on Facebook I see you list your top job as machine operator... Is that true?

-That's true! I work for a company that makes ventilation units for homes and commercial use. I work in the sheet metal department that punches and bends metal to form the units. Its been 8 years so far!

How do you go from machine operator to wrestler and then to film star?

-I was wrestler first but then I slowed down and found a real job!(lol).I was offered a role in 300 through wrestling contacts. So I took the opportunity and ran with it!

Do you find it easy to balance it all out with family life?

-Its tough. But we manage. My wife is used to the game. But for our little daughter Mekedess its a little harder for her. We adopted her from Ethiopia right before I left for England for 2 months to shoot "Holmes". It took awhile after to re-establish our relationship!

Since starring in “300” you've snagged roles in some impressive titles. How do you feel you've progressed as an actor?

-It was 5 years ago that I filmed 300 and I've done 4 films since. I've learned alot on each film. But there is still alot to learn! I can tell you that I'm much more comfortable being on set!

I did a film called The Big Bang last year. It was really a departure for me. My character is the heart of the story! All my scenes were with Antonio Banderas. He and the other actors told me I was doing a great job. So that helped my self esteem a lot!

I have to say that I'm very excited about Monster Brawl. Can you tell us a little about this one, how you came to be involved and your character in it?

-Independent film makers from Collingwood(North of Toronto )were sending messages for months. They wanted me to play "Frankenstein" who with 7 other monsters fight it out in a tournament to determine the true dominant Monster.

I wasn't sold on the idea until I saw the drawing of me as the monster. And they were very serious about having me! Then I thought to myself that this should be a fun ride!

The premise is simple... Classic Film Monsters fight it out to the death in an old cemetery in a wrestling ring. Its billed as a pay per view event with commenter's and annoncers. It should please fans of the horror,wrestling and comedy genre.

It sounds great. I really can't wait to see it.

-Great casting too with Lance Herikson as the Narrator and Jimmy "The Mouth of the South"Hart as the host. Dave Foley and Art Hindle as the Commenter's for comic relief. Former WWE,WCW and TNA wrestler Kevin Nash is there as well!

Some great names for horror and wrestling fans.

-And the rest of the cast are just terrific to work with. The set was amazing considering the budget it had. The crew worked very hard on it and were very passionate of the project. It will come out probably around Halloween time of 2011.

You will also be seen as the Minotaur in the upcoming The Immortals... Do you enjoy being hidden behind make up and costumes or do you prefer the roles such as Dredger in Sherlock where the audience gets to see the real you?

-I did enjoy playing The Minotaur. My head was completely covered with this huge helmet. It wasn't the most comfortable thing to wear. I could barely see and it was very hot in there.

I had to do all the stunts for the Big Fight sequence. It was quite challenging. But the Minotaur costume I wore was awesome and powerful.

I was always fascinated with masks in general. I always wanted to wear the Darth Vader helmet when I was younger. People would be terrified of the mask while you were hiding your true identity.

I used body language and head movements since the audience can't see my face. But showing my visage does help getting noticed for sure. I took advantage of my facial expressions.

S.H. was a huge hit and helped my visibility in the acting world.

And while I'm talking Sherlock I have to ask... What was the first thing to go through your mind when you accidentally put Robert Downey Jnr on his arse?

-Terrible of course. I taught how bad did he get hurt.

A little bit must have thought I just knocked out Iron Man... cool.

-Turned out all right at the end!:)

As you continue in film is there any genre you'd like to step into... comedy, romance, action etc...?

-I would like to try all genre but I would prefer Action and Horror!

Has anyone ever walked upto you and said “Hmm, I thought you'd be taller?”

-On the contrary! People say I'm taller in real life! They must have thought they used CGI in Holmes to make me Bigger (lol).

Is there one question you'd like to be asked and what would your answer be?

-Are you afraid of heights?

Good one... And are you?

-Yes I am.

Looking back at you wrestling career what would you say was the high point?

-Being with the WWE of course. Wrestling in my hometown with the WWE in front of my family and friends was a high point. Touring the world was always a perk with the Job!

Do you prefer the wrestling or are you now more comfortable with being seen as an actor?

-Acting bug for sure. But can't say no to Wrestling gigs ether. Its not out of my system yet.

What does the future hold for you... What can we expect to see you doing next?

-To continue the dream. Still waiting what this year will bring!

Thanks for this, Robert and I hope we get to chat again soon.

-Thanks for the opportunity!!

***Next time I'm hoping to chat with Neil Jackson, the UK actor who has starred in films such as Quantum of Solace and Push and TV including Flash Forward, Blade: The series and Upstairs Downstairs***

Friday, 18 February 2011


Medusa followed with Alano walking behind her. The torturers had been busy, the room already littered with the sagging bodies of those who had been forced to confess. They'd been left where they'd collapsed. Later they'd be taken to the town centre and burned for their sins. Medusa felt nothing for the agony they had suffered. They were humans and they deserved nothing better than the degradation they infliction upon one another.

Across the room she saw the male who'd kept her so well fed in her cell. He hung upside down against the far wall, his ankles chained together. Despite the uncomfortable position he still franticly tugged at his penis, the member now raw from all of his attention. Blood trickled between his fingers, mixing with the steady stream of seamen dribbling from the twitching end. He raised his head awkwardly, his mouth wide to catch the creamy pink mixture of fluid. With each drop his eyes rolled in his head, the eyelids quivering in perverse joy. He disgusted her.

She was glad to leave him behind and happier to discover she'd have an important audience. It would make the whole experience more enjoyable. The inquisitors looked up at her as she approached and Medusa smiled, running her tongue across her top lip seductively. She watched them squirm at her attentions, pulling their gaze away from her and returning to their study of the words they'd written.

So, Manuel, is this my surprise?” she asked, drawing her nails across the inquisitors table.

No, my dear.” The reply came from the shadows. “That would be me.” The curtain behind the inquisitors parted and Thomás de Torquemada stepped into view.

Bastard,” Medusa sneered. “How nice you could find time to come and see me.”

Torquemada walked into the room, his red clad frame oozing power and self confidence. Europe feared him, quaking in fear at the mere mention of his name. He had more power than the Pope and he used it well to satisfy his own wants and needs whilst following a quest to rid the world of demons, devils and witches.

No one saw the smile flicker across his face, gone before it could truly surface. He had everything he could ever wish for and all he’d had to do was pretend to be a believer. By bowing before the effigy of God and swearing his allegiance to the good fight he'd achieved power like he could never have imagined. The power and the money were all good and well, but it was the other perks he appreciated more.

Especially the women.

Medusa stared back at him, her insides boiling with hatred for the man who'd betrayed their deal. She'd given herself freely and still he'd sent his men to arrest her. The very thought of being near him filled her with fire

Torquemada loved the attention of females. He may have made an oath to be faithful to God, but like every promise he'd ever made he'd rescinded on this one. With his role as Master Inquisitor he'd been placed in a position where women threw themselves at him and he took full advantage of the situation.

The Medusa woman was a case in point, and such a rare beauty. On his travels he'd heard tales of how she'd conquered Spain, leaving a trail of devastation in her wake. He'd known then that she'd be his, that he'd take her and tame her before stripping her of her riches and sacrificing her as an example of his all encompassing power.

Torquemada let his eyes roam over her body and felt his manhood rise beneath his robes. He was going to enjoy watching her confess and then, if time allowed, he would take her one more time. The final insult of rape and abuse would be her dying memory.

Medusa watched Thomás and grinned openly. She could read his thoughts as if he was an open book. She shivered in anticipation at what was to come. The wait would be worth the pain and the agony she'd be forced to endure before her moment of retribution.

Inquisitor and eternal held each others gaze, neither wanting to be the first to show weakness. The standoff was brought to a halt by Manuel, keen to start his work and show the mighty Torquemada what injuries he could inflict upon their special subject.

This way, bitch.” He took gratification from the expression of disgust that passed along the line of inquisitor’s faces.

Where would you like me,” Medusa answered, turning with a curtsy.

You won’t be so loud when I’m done.” Manuel lashed out and kicked her leg, moving her in the direction of the chair on the raised podium.

And I was under the belief you liked them loud,” Medusa hissed. “At least that’s what I heard from the other cells during the nights.”

Shut your trap, cunt.” Manuel pulled back his hand and brought it back hard across her face. “You’ll scream for me soon enough.” He forced her down in the chair and began to strap her arms.

You haven’t got what it takes to make me scream.” Medusa drummed her nails on the wooden arm, impatiently waiting as Manuel fumbled the buckles on the leather bonds.

We’ll see,” Manuel snarled, pulling the last strap tight, ensuring the metal clasp bit into Medusa’s wrist. “You’ll soon beg me.” He coughed and spat a thick wad of phlegm in her face.

Manuel that is no way to treat a guest.” Torquemada walked around the table and approached the chair. “She is here to be questioned and we must follow procedure.”

Fuck you,” Medusa snapped, her body tensing at the close proximity of The Inquisitor.

You should show me respect.” Torquemada’s fist clenched, his knuckles turning white and swelling around the ruby ring given to him by the Pontiff.

The same respect you gave me after burying your face in my quim?” She glared at him.

You poor child.” Torquemada restrained the anger he felt towards her. “I am willing to offer you redemption.” He leaned in close. “All you have to do is kiss my ring and ask me forgiveness.”


This one small act is all I ask and we will accept it as your confession.” The words fell from his lips like thick saliva. “You can burn with the others and your pain will be over.”

You offer so much, your Almightiness.” Medusa made no attempt to hide the disdain in her voice. “Hold out your hand and let me beg for mercy.” She was, however, willing to play his game.

Torquemada glanced back at the other inquisitors and saw the consternation on their faces. What he was offering was unheard of and their displeasure was clear. He silenced their mutterings with only a look. “You can leave now,” he ordered.

The inquisitors closed the heavy book, leaving it on the table and retreating behind the curtain. They had no wish to be witness to such behaviour and would ensure that the Pope heard of Torquemada’s deviant actions.

Torquemada waited until he was sure they were gone and then returned his attention to Medusa, holding out his fist and presenting the jewelled ring to her lips.

One kiss and you will allow me to die?” she asked.

One kiss and you leave this world absolved,” he assured her, moving the ring until the ruby was almost touching her mouth.

Medusa’s head snapped forward, giving Torquemada no chance to withdraw. In a fluid movement her mouth was open and her tongue snaked out. With tremendous strength the tongue pulled The Inquisitors finger into her mouth and she bit down. She ground her teeth together, working them through flesh and bone with the efficiency of a saw. She moaned as Torquemada’s hot blood sprayed her face and the finger slid, whole, down her gullet. She sucked greedily on the open wound, probing the raw flesh with the tip of the tongue. As she fed she gave something to Torquemada...

Something special.

***Jaded Mistress available soon in ebook format for only $1.50***

Friday, 11 February 2011





I have just sat down and watched this and to be quite honest I don't know what the fuck to say... This is one bizarre mix up of a movie that shouldn't work yet is still entertaining in a totally insane kind of way.

The plot is very simple... A group of Ninjas are sent out to find out what the fire from the sky was... Once out in the forests they quickly discover that the fire was not of this planet and what it has brought with it is hungry for food and domination.

So you now have a martial arts, sci-fi movie with enough blood and guts to satisfy any horror fan...

...Oh, and did I mention that its a comedy.

Now, don't go shaking your head. I know what you're thinking and your wrong. It is the comedy that binds this entire film together. Without the comedy AvN just would not work.

The writer and director clearly knows that he has a very limited budget to work with and as such he knows his Aliens are not going to look like much more than men in suits. He knows he is having to shoot in a forest and will have to rely on over the top effects and madness to equal everything out.

And surprisingly he does this very well. It won't be to everyone's taste but I felt it worked well... I smiled, I laughed and I was entertained by the madcap action that embraced its ability to become crazier and crazier as it went on.

AvN is a curiosity but one definitely worth taking a look at if you want a slice of fun that feels like a mash up of John Woo, early Peter Jackson and totally fucked up Power Ranger's creatures.





I have to admit that, despite being a horror fan, I have never seen the original I Spit On Your Grave. I own a copy but I've not, as yet, ever felt the urge to watch it.

I think it might have something to do with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I can remember hearing all the hype about the original TCM over the years and then seeing the film and being very disappointed by what I saw.

I had the same reaction with The Exorcist... years of hype and then a rather poor melodrama that happened to have a kid sticking a crucifix up her vagina. I know this will go against popular opinion but I found both films incredibly underwhelming.

In fact (and here comes the stone throwing) I actually preferred the remake of TCM. Hate me if you will but its my opinion and I'm allowed to have it.

Anyway, I seem to be going off track here a little. I'm meant to be reviewing a film, not moaning about passed viewings.

I want to start off on the right foot by saying I liked this film. Its not perfect but its damn near close. It made me feel uncomfortable and, by the end I felt satisfied with the conclusion. I can't ask for much more than that...

Can I?

Well, as most of you will already know, ISOYG is about a woman who is terrorised and then raped by a group of men. She is left for dead and then comes back to get her revenge on those who defiled her.

Its a simple and effective premise and Steven R. Monroe does a fine job of lining it all up but I felt he dwelt too long on the terrorising side of the story. The initial set up and introduction of characters is done quickly and efficiently but once the guys turn up I felt the pace drop a notch... not much but a everything slowed down.

I'm not sure if this meant to intensify the dread but, for me it had the opposite effect. It is still an unpleasant set of scenes to watch but by the time the terrorising becomes the rape I felt a little desensitised and the climax of the first act then lost its full impact.

During this terrorising and rape I must make special mention of the Sheriff (played by Andrew Howard)... What a nasty piece of work... It is the introduction and performance of this character alone that adds the kick back into that first act. As he spits on his hand, reaches down and announces “I'm an ass man” you just know he's a cunt.

The second act is pretty much perfect in every way. Its not too long and it begins to rebuild the tension and adds to the stress between the characters as the Sheriff takes control and tries to return his life to normality.

And then we come to the third and final act of the movie and this is where things turn from uncomfortable to downright entertaining. The act of revenge is sweet and as our victim turns the tables it just gets better and better, culminating in the best scene of the movie...

My only problem with the final act is actually caused by my complaint of the first act. By drawing out the rape far too long we are left with a final act that seems a little too constrained. I felt that the games played between Jennifer Hills and the Sheriff could have had more screen time and really built on the tension and showcased more of Howard's ability to portray the mental downfall of the Sheriff mirrored against Jennifer's growing strength. This would have only bettered that final scene.

Regardless of any negatives I Spit is still a very well made, written and incredibly well acted slice of unwholesome nastiness and it should be on any horror fan's DVD shelf.